Is it supposed to be like this?

The pain I feel

It hurts so much

Is this really real? 

The sadness, the sorrow, in my soul

I keep digging myself into this hole

Deeper and deeper I continue to look

Going and going, I'm stuck on this hook

Being pulled back, closer to thin

I can feel my heart beat, deep within

I look in the mirror, I want to see bones

Get rid of  this fat, all on my own

How long will it take to get to the place

where I can be happy after this long chase

So no eating, no calories no happiness anymore

But its all worth it, if I'm thinner than before.